Tuesday, March 2, 2010

this is me.

when i was pregnant with bennett, i was terrified.
i was worried i would get bored staying home.
worried about not having time for myself.
worried things would change between me and my davey.
and of course, worried i wouldn't be a good mom.

now the jury's still out on the "good mom" part
but, i was dead wrong with everything else.

i adore how dave is with our little boy
and that makes me want to be better for both of them.

i wouldn't trade staying home with b for anything.

and even though i will always have my selfish moments
i can't help but lose myself in my little b.

i used to get embarrassed when i told people "i'm just a stay at home mom"
but now that i have a glimpse of what it's like; it's the most important thing i will ever do.

it may seem simple
and stupid but
this is me.
i am a mom.

thanks davey, for giving me the best gift that, in the beginning, i never even knew i wanted.

and thanks to all the ladies in my life for showing me what good moms are all about...even though some of you aren't moms yet. (you know who you are)

our little b is sick today.
so we're in pajamas.
drinking a lot of juice.
sleeping. reading. sleeping. coughing. sleeping.

sick, but still smiling.


tycee said...

Catie, you are awesome. This post reminds me of the book "I Am a Mother" by Jane Clayson Johnson...being a mother is a noble thing.

Stephanie-jean Weber said...

It is simply amazing isn't it!

Anonymous said...

Catie- you are wonderful.

Bennett is wonderful too and I'm pretty sure that he gets it from You and Dave.

I think he's smiling all the time because he gets just about all the love in the world.

What more could a kid could ask for?

(Flash forward to ten years from now when you're blogging about B wanting a pony or tattoo or something just because I said that. )

Lance said...

I was the same way. Never wanted to stay home. The second they put Alyssa in my arms I thought, I never want to leave her. What a blessing it is to be a mother and get to stay home with them. Great post Catie!

Amy May said...

I think that it is so interesting that you would post on this because I am the in the middle of “reading” a book on tape called “Bad Mother” which is about this exact topic. It’s is all about how judgmental our society is about mothers. About how if we stay at home you get that look you are talking about and how if you go to work you are judged in a different way, and essentially there is no way to win. Then it talks about how this bleeds over into all other aspects of motherhood and parenting. It is a very, very interesting “read.”
And why yes I do know how to make pillow cases. I would love to get together and show you how!

Laura G said...

You express yourself so eloquently in this post.

I couldn't agree more. I never say I am just a mom, because I believe it is the most important calling we'll ever have too!

mccall said...

catie! this is a beautiful post and so what i needed to hear! (no, i am not pregnant, but i have those exact same fears for when the time does come).

miss your face.