Saturday, July 5, 2008

"Made in China" - a 4th of July celebration

We had an unforgettable independence day celebration last night.
Like much of the general public, my Dad spent over $90 on fireworks and we went to my grandpa's house to light them off with the whole family watching.

Fireworks are funny.
They are all the same. Then, when one stands out amongst the rest (usually the ones with the random purple sparks), someone says, "ew, that was a good one. Remember to get that one again next year." But that, of course, never happens.
So I took it upon myself to write down the name of this particular firework. It was "Mystery sparkling fountain". Then I read the rest of the names. "dazzling fountain", "gian
t burst", and other such generic names. No wonder these things are never remembered. I want to meet the Chinaman who's job is to look through a chinese-english dictionary and come up with these names.

But one particular firework stood out this year. Highly recommended by the 14-year-old booth manager.
It is a hexagonal box with a giant tail made of fire crackers. So you light the tail and when it gets to the top, it spins. This is what the instructions on the back say:

My favorite part is the first frame "Hang up in the open area". Yeah, as if every household has a random horizontal metal poll, 15 feet away from anything, to hang a bursting firework from.

This very issue posed a problem for my Dad who was so excited about this firework in the first place.

Solution: hang up firework in a tree directly above shrub bushes.

I don't know which is funnier, the excitement over this solution, or the surprised look on my dad's face as my grandpa's precious shrubs started on fire.
This is one firework we will never forget.

Anyway, fireworks are funny.


Anonymous said...

I've seen my Dad running towards a field fire with buckets of water after he set off a sweet firework. It just goes to show ya...

Man, plus crazy firework minus rational, times excitement equals danger. Its a mathematical equation. I didn't make it up.

LW said...

I agree with Cory. There's nothing like fireworks to turn grown men into 11-year-old pyromaniacs. What gives?

Bukran said...

Very true.

Fireworks either wail like banshees, shoot colored sparks, or do both. That's it. Why on earth do we set so many off in a row?

And why does Michigan not sell those little tank fireworks? My biscuits are figuratively burned!