Wednesday, September 23, 2009

random thoughts

found these "random thoughts of 25 to 30 year old's"
and laughed my guts out...then showed dave
and cory and laughed my guts out again. these
are the ones i laughed at the hardest:

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell
my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.

-That's enough, Nickelback.

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically
fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all
know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards
or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually
becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting
90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's
laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little
bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the
only one who really, really gets it.

-How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to
finish a text.

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
test is absolutely petrifying.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart",
all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up
to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in'
examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete
idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and
said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
i nstinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their
profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got
the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if
I do!

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be
a problem....

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't
want to have to restart my collection.

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I
swear I did not make any changes to.

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people
watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will
they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't
watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and
leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she
hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light
internet stalking.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,
then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.


tycee said...

Ha! This list is great - I especially loved the "G as in Goonies," Mario Kart, and MapQuest ones.

Anonymous said...

My favorite is still the "You're not real smart, you are imaginary smart." I love it. I also love when you laugh really hard. Need I remind you of your dog named 'Nipples'.

"Nipples... Man's best friend."

"Nipples... Saves woman from a burning building. Wins a key to the city."

That Nipples is a regular hero. Sure he tenses up when in cold weather, but other than that... he's great.

the fellers said...

ok, so I totally LOVED one of those, and I couldnt wait to get to the bottom and tell you all about it, but then I found like 25 more that I loved and laughed out loud too!! Those are the best! Thanks for sharing!

Oh and just so you know, I LOVED Paul Milsap before that dodge ball tournament, but then he was really onery to get a picture with, that was FOR SURE a forced smile in that picture, and he was SOOOO annoyed,,,oh well, he still seems nice!

coleman said...

That's awesome, thanks for the laugh... one more thing, what about the "word" verification you must type when posting a comment... I got "rebewedr"

Laura G said...

Hilarious!!! I read them to Tyson funny and so very true. The Ipod, the airplane, the texting...all of em. Ha ha. Thanks for sharing.

Noelle said...

That made my day. I haven't laughed that hard since I watched "Community."

Now go watch it.

dave, catie, and baby "b" said...

I do the same thing when I am introducing someone to new music. I try show how good it is by playing air guitar or doing some sort of embarrassing head bob.